5 Phases You Need To Understand About Mentorship For Your Success
Welcome to the first part of my series on finding, building, and maintaining mentorships for personal and professional growth.
In this article, we'll dive into the phases of mentorship, setting the stage for a fruitful and impactful relationship. In subsequent articles, we’ll deep dive into each one!
So what are the 5 phases?
Phase 1: Discovering Your Mentor
Initiation and Request
First of all, understand that mentorship is a mutually reciprocating relationship.
I always live by this quote I heard early in my career:
“A players want to play with A players”
Quality mentors want quality mentees.
It’s incredibly fulfilling to mentor an A player. It’s incredibly unfulfilling to mentor somebody that doesn’t bring their best to the table.
That means that the quality of a mentor you can get and maintain is entirely dependent on the quality of a mentee you are.
Be an A+++ player.
Your first step is to find one who can help you grow towards your goals. How might you do that?
Start with Your Existing Network: Look around—colleagues, supervisors, former bosses, and professional acquaintances can be great mentors. Find folks who you admire and respect.
Expand Your Horizons: Attend industry events, meetups, conferences, and join professional organizations. These settings are ripe for meeting potential mentors who can offer diverse perspectives.
Establishing Initial Contact
Making the first move can be nerve-wracking, and it’s essential. You can’t get started without shooting your shot.
Be clear and concise about who you are and what you’re looking for.
Pitch for Initial Contact: “Hi [Name], my name is [Your Name], and I’m currently [Your Position] at [Your Company]. I’ve admired your work in [Field/Industry] and would love to discuss the possibility of mentorship with you - could I set up time with you next week on [Insert Date] at [Insert Time]?”
Building Trust: Share your career goals and explain why you respect and want to learn from them.
Phase 2: Building Connection
Building Trust and Mutual Respect
Once the mentorship is established, the next step is to build a strong foundation of trust and respect.
Bring your A+++ game to every mentorship session, and make sure you prepare.
Remember - a great mentor won’t waste their time with a mentee who doesn’t come prepared.
How do you bring your A+++ game? Try the following.
Active Listening: Really tune in to what your mentor is saying. Don’t just listen to respond; listen to understand. Ask them about their values. Ask them about their journey and key milestones in their career and life.
Take Notes: Write the takeaways immediately after your first session (and all future sessions), and show them that you are really listening. Send them the takeaways.
Regular Check-Ins: Offer consistent meetings or calls to discuss your progress and seek advice. Sometimes this can feel overwhelming to commit to, so just ask for a concrete commitment such as a monthly mentorship meeting for 3 months to start.
Phase 3: Setting Goals
Defining Goals and Expectations
Clear goals and expectations are crucial for a successful mentorship.
If there is no clarity on the problems that you would like help from your mentor to solve, the mentorship will stagnate.
So get real with your goals and expectations, and write them down.
Self-Awareness: Discuss your strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations with your mentor. That shows that you have an aptitude for growth.
SMART Goals: Set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Don’t get too fancy. Perhaps just pick 1 or 2 to start.
For example, “I aim to improve my public speaking skills by attending a workshop and practicing in team meetings over the next three months.”
Regularly Review and Adjust Goals: Revisit and modify your goals as needed based on your progress and new insights, on a regular time interval. Track these yourself, and show your mentor that you own your own growth.
Maintain transparency and regular updates.
Progress Updates: As you progress in your mentorship, keep your mentor informed about your achievements and challenges. They would love to hear your wins, and especially any follow ups from advice they gave you to see what came to fruition.
Constructive Feedback: Seek and act on feedback to continuously improve. The last thing any competent mentor worth their salt wants, is a defensive mentee who puts their ego in the way of growth. Always be open
Phase 4: Growing Together
Achieving and Iterating on Goals
With clear goals in place, it’s time to focus on growth and progression.
The following are what you should do, can expect, and can ask for from your mentor.
Providing Resources: Your mentor can share valuable resources such as curated books, articles, courses, and their own experiences. They have a wealth of knowledge to offer you - tap into it!
Identify Potential Obstacles: Discuss your possible challenges with your mentor and brainstorm solutions. Don’t show up empty handed to mentorship meetings and just talk about the weather. That’s a waste of everybody’s time. Bring problems to tackle.
Develop and Iterate on Strategies: Create actionable plans to overcome these challenges. Bring ideas you already have, and ask them to critique them and give you feedback! That is one of the most useful
Offering Encouragement, Celebrating Milestones: You both should consistently recognize and reward your achievements to stay motivated. It doesn’t have to be fancy - dinner, words of affirmations or a nice coffee are all great connection points!
Phase 5: Reflection and Transition
Nurturing the Transition
This is the most important phase in my opinion, assuming you have no problem getting through the first four.
One of the most important skills I’ve learned in my life and career is to maintain and nurture the relationships that are most important to me.
Take an opportunity to have a coffee with your mentor and summarize the mentorship, and prepare for the next stage.
This can look like the following.
Reflect on Growth: Review what you’ve accomplished and discuss key takeaways. Summarize what you’ve learned, and how you’ve grown. Look at all the notes you’ve taken and share those key points with your mentor.
Ending Formally: Recognize when it’s time to formally conclude the mentorship while remaining open to future interactions. This doesn’t mean the end of the relationship, it just means that this mentorship “season” has concluded and you can transition the relationship and end the formal meetings.
Evolving into Sponsorship: Some mentorships naturally progress into sponsorships. Sponsors can advocate for you and open doors to more connections or opportunities.
Evolving into Friendship: Some mentorships naturally turn into friendships if your values align, and if you share hobbies. The depth of the friendship is really up to both of you.
Life is all about connection, and a mentorship relationship is no different.
Even after the formal relationship ends, it’s beneficial to stay in touch.
For example, I still text or email mentors from a decade ago with questions that may be pertinent to them or about things that come up in life that I know they would be interested in.
And for my own mentees, I get that same thing and love it! Life is all about connection, and a mentorship relationship is no different.
It has a depth to it that is a function of both of your effort towards deepening the bond.
Try the following.
Periodic Check-Ins: Keep in touch occasionally to share updates and seek advice. These check-ins help maintain the relationship and provide ongoing support.
Ongoing Support: Offer and seek support as needed, even after the formal mentorship concludes. This ongoing connection reinforces the relationship and bond. Knowing that you can still reach out to your mentor provides reassurance and continuity.
Stay awesome and keep growing!
P.S.: Don’t forget to check back for more insights and tips in my upcoming articles. And as always, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with mentorship in the comments below.